Some thoughts

I must be either too free these days or too stressed - like stuff from the past keeps occupying my mind. It's happened before when I was so stressed that I feel like I have nothing to do, which could also be now with exams coming up in 3 weeks and the realisation that this academic year is almost over. One year felt like a really long time at the beginning of the year - back in August last year I was so elated to have the whole year ahead of me, but now we're down to about 5 or 6 more weeks of classes/exams before my year in Strasbourg would be complete, my friends back in UCL are mostly graduating this year, and I have summer to prepare for, then it's gonna be final year. Once again I get the feeling that time is passing by too quickly but I just want to stay in the present really. So much as though I'm denying the fact that time passes, things change and people change. But I liked it better the way they were. 

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In other news I also went to rent a violin today from a luthier in Strasbourg. On Sunday I had this terrible feeling of missing my violin and spent the whole night listening to Bach Violin Concertos and yesterday was busy with classes the whole day so I went today afternoon. Should've probably done this at the beginning of the year and auditioned for orchestra, but honestly speaking the thought of playing in a French orchestra scares me. I'm still really bad with sightreading and just the thought of all the instructions and especially bar numbers in French is enough to make me worry for days. But the luthier today did suggest for me to try the orchestra and he said that they're always looking for players but Idk I'm not sure if I have enough courage to go audition hahaha. And also dk if I should do orch again next year cause final year I really have to study and orch does take up quite a lot of time ... But I'll think again next year.

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I should probably go pack my room now. Sometimes in the middle of the night I can smell the same smell that I did the first night I moved here. I guess smells can trigger specific memories too.